Whether you are dining at a restaurant, meeting new people, or buying something at a mall, one thing is for certain; you are being judged. Before you ever speak to anyone, before anyone ever speaks to you, they are judging you. Whether you like it or not.
Let's take a restaurant, for example. When you go into a restaurant, not only are the hosts and the other diners labeling you, but probably more importantly, your server is sizing you up. Why is this important? Because they are the ones who make or break your dining experience. A server will judge you within the first ten seconds of seeing you (I remind you that they know they are serving you before you know that they are serving you), and this determines what kind of service you will receive. I know that this doesn't seem right, and service should be excellent everytime, but the fact is, if a server thinks that you aren't going to tip well, or if they think you are going to be a "needy" table, then they will adjust their service to their pre-conceived notions. You have to ask, "why would I break my back trying to give great service to a table that I 'know' isn't going to tip me well?" The answer would be that you don't actually know whether or not a table is going to tip well before they actually do it; but be assured, servers think they know, and so does everyone else who judges people. . .It's human nature.
So, then how do we change the minds of servers in order for them to give us better service? And how can we stop them from pre-judging us in the first place? Here are a couple of TIPS to help you out:
1. Don't Pre-Tip: Chances are, whether you know it or not, you already know how much you are going to tip the server (unless some sort of extreme event occurs to make you change your tip like sitting there for literally twenty minutes before the server even says hello). You shouldn't do this. A standard tip is around 18-20%. This should be your base. If you get great service, give more, and vice versa.
2. Don't be unnecessarily needy: while waiters/waitresses are servers, remember that they aren't SERVANTS, and thus, don't treat them as if their job is to be at your beck and call. If you need something, let them know (it's their job), but don't go overboard. 15 sweet teas during lunch is always considered excessive. Really think about how many times during your meal you make your server go get you something. Then ask yourself if you would do this at home.
3. Consolidate: No doubt, you will need (or want) certain things during your meal, but it is your responsibility to anticipate those things. If you forget, that's fine, and you should ask for what you want, but you shouldn't ask for one thing at a time. By doing this, you are monopolizing the time of the server, and not only will your service be slow, but so will the service of other tables. For example, if you know that you like to drink a lot of water, and are a messy eater who likes ranch dressing with your french fries, tell the server up front. You will not hurt the server's feelings by asking them to bring you two glasses of water, and some napkins right when your order your drink, and then let them know that you would like a side of ranch dressing with your french fries. By doing these things, you have given the server the opportunity to turn multiple trips into one. He/She can bring you an extra glass of water out (and if they are smart, put a pitcher near by), along with some napkins, and when they put in your food order they can add the side of ranch so it will come out with your food.
4. Control your children: I certainly understand that part of taking "the family" out to dinner is so that you don't have to worry about feeding your kids. But that does not make it okay for diners to let their children run wild and make huge messes: Sugar packets torn open and thrown everywhere, huge amounts of crumbs everywhere, sauces and drinks dumped on the floor, etc. Would you let your children make that kind of mess at your home? Of course you wouldn't, so don't do it at a restaurant. Things happen, and servers know that, but you need to see to it that you are keeping control of your little ones. Who do you think has to clean up the mess? And if every table that is served has children who make huge messes, and one server waits on ten tables in a night. . .That's a whole lot of cleaning (all while they are waiting on their other tables). And let me ask you this, "How much money would someone have to pay you to clean up after children all day?" I can tell you that servers are paid $2.13, that's not nearly enough for 5 hours of child duty.
5. Be polite: Didn't your parents ever tell you that it's rude to interrupt? I can't tell you how many times I have seen a table of customers try to interrupt a server while they are talking to
another table. This astounds me because it seems like almost common sense not to interrupt when some one you have just met is talking to someone you have never met. If you are rude to servers, they will be rude to you, and chances are that your service will suffer. Say things like "please" and "thank" you. Use phrases like "May I have..." and not "Get me..."
If you truly think about these things the next time you go out, I guarantee that your service will improve. Remember that servers are going to like people that make their lives easier more than they will someone who makes their lives harder. And if you tip well, the server WILL remember you, and the next time they see you, you will be treated better than everyone else, this is a guarantee. If you choose not to heed this advice and you think, "who cares, it's their job", and etc. then fine; but remember that there is a reason that your food came out last and came out cold. There is a reason that you were the last ones to be seated, there is a reason that no one seems to care that you go that restaurant all the time. There is a reason that your service always seems to suck, and there is a reason that you can't ever seem to get a last minute reservation, or get one ever.
If you follow the golden rule, you will be fine. If you truly treat people the way you wanted to be treated, then you will always have a great dining experience. So reader, I say to you, when it comes to eating out. . .Don't Be That Person.
